Guh, I'm glad I get to update everyone on how good day 5 was, cuz day 6 sucked.

 

I got home last night, updated about the night before, then went to bed. Yesterday rocked. We did everything. I was tired.

 

Lemme try'n get this right...  OK- so, we woke up and went to... Bank. Bank, I think. Ya, that's right. We had to exit at Moorgate because Bank station is STFU, but that was alright because we got to see the old London wall at Moorgate.

It was a mound, nicely lawned. I said "look baby, thats the old Roman wall". Jen said "Go fuck yerself, thats a dog mound" I said "Honey, don't be so crude, why would they grass over a dog mound?" she said "I dunno, you British are all barbarians anyway- in Hong Kong, we would have used that space for profiteering" and I said "But look, they are using it for profiteering, the whole area is either banks or retail shops" and she said "but there's no admission charge to see the dog mound!"

 

She had a point.

Here's 2000 years of British history. You judge.

 

 

Guess it would'a made a perfectly nice pub- "On this site, 1 year ago, there sat a lawn covering some old bricks. Now you can get a pint of Fosters for 5 pounds. Welcome to the historic layer cake, son"

 

Anyway, from there we wandered south into Bank proper (big scary old buildings) and then down to the Thames. We tried stopping in at a camera shop to get a new lens cover for Jens expensive digital (its purty, but the lens cap was shit) but they couldnt find one in all their racks that fit our Olympus. Whatever. I promptly got snot on the lens. 

 

Bank & environs look like this-

 

     

 

It's impressive. Makes you feel like a bot.  A non-important bot. Like some sort of editing bot in a journalists Macbook- sure it's there, but if 1. that journalist needs it and 2. that journalist is going to listen to a computer, then you're the luckiest bot on earth.  Cuz really, who agrees with those squiggly green lines under your wit anyway?

 

So, we walked down through Bank to the Thames, intent on heading over to the Tower of London- our having spent enough time in shops that Jen was willing to let me oggle some old stuff. 

I must admit that it feels like London is under Construction, Pleast Mind the Gap.  It's sorta hard to get anywhere here right now (dont get me started on the tube)- we managed to walk around various pitfalls, but this is what we saw on the way. (Recall that Bank station is shut due to work)

 

   

 

Those are pretty old things covered in scaffolding. Boo.

I mean, theyre still big and old and awesome, but c'mon jerks, we're on vacation.

 

 

As an interjection, let me add that a few nights ago, Jen inadvertantly stole some organic crackers from a grocer.  We had just had some pints and had our arms full of food (those hand carts are for poofs) and after checking out and paying (...and getting on the subway) she pulls some package out from under her arm and says "huh... I don' t think i paid for these"

Was pretty hilarious. In a degradation-of-society way, but still. Every time we walk into a shop now, as we pass the security guard, I loudly say "Now Jen, try not to steal anything this time."  It doesnt affect our trip at all, just makes sure that I have someone to roll my eyes at when Jen picks up something ugly to buy.  Like I can pretend he's just another guy ("dude, really? does your girlfriend do this too? lordy!") rather than a rent-a-cop following us around because "the Asian in mocassins is a klepto"

 

Heheh.

 

Ok, so last I left off we were at the Thames.  Well, the Thames is pretty drab, but it does lead to the Tower of London.

Also, pretty drab (unless you wanna shuffle through this line to actually Go In-

 

 

I know the 200x180 pixel myspace image doesnt do that justice, because in reality that was a Hong Kong size crowd of Italians (no really) all waiting in line to go into the castle. We nixed it off our list and decided to get on the Tower-Greenwich river boat.  I've never been to Greenwich (I don't wanna sound like a snot, but for those of you out there reading this, please read "Greenwich" as "gren-itch"... literally, like "grenitch mean time") so we paid our nominal fee and got on the boat.

 

It was purty.  Real purty.  The sun was sort'a setting (it got coldish) but we could still sit on top of the boat for the 20min trip and watch london go by.  One of the crew members was a cockney youth, and he gave us a lazy tour commentary as we cruised down the river.  His accent was bloody incredible.  We've heard a lot of north london (self professed "posh") accents since being here, but the unabashed Cockney commentary was delightful ("fowks, wea naught touwa guyds, sozif yoowd like to prowfess a bit'a appreshun fow ow hewpfuh commentary, ahwl be at the dewr of thu ship as y'exit- y'donashuns go to rivahsud reesuch, at the locawl pubs")

Jen suggests he be the MC at my wedding ("my")- I don't have a river pub to offer a stay at, so I don't think he'd accept.  He was really attached to that river.

Here's some riverside scenery-

           

 

That last one, a pub called the "Town of Ramsgate" is named after a Kentish pirate town that I've taken a familial liking to- it (the pub) is apparently the place where anyone convicted of piracy in the 19th c. would be brought to, given a last pint, then taken down those stairs and chained.  The tide on the Thames is 25 feet, so he'd be left there for three tides before being declared dead (the judge sat on the pier of a pub across the water) and somehow the place became known as the Ramsgate. 

I'm sure there are some insulted, and some flattered, Kentish men out there.

 

So, after a wittily commentated tour down the Thames, we ended up in Grenitch.  Grenitch is the middle of time.  It's T-0 for international time zones- you know how when you get a new computer, it asks what time zone you are in, and you put G-5 (not Argentina): that G stands for Greenwich.  Maybe more of you out there know this that I assume, but I just want to impress upon everyone just how significant our river trip was. 

 

We were big-time tourists! Going to the middle of international time!

Greenwich is a royal burgh, and used to be home to the Naval Academy and some other navally impressive stuff, so it invariably had fantastic scenery.  Here's some tacky tourist photos.

 

                   

 

At one point during our touristing, we crossed the Prime Meridian of Earth.

Here's my feet on the east, and Jen's on the west, in a charming bit of irony.

 

 

 

Guess I shouldn't have rotated that photo counterclockwise eh? Pft, whatever.

 

 

 

... I just updated and proofread thus far, and want to make sure that everyone knows that I knew before this trip that 1. it was pronounced grenitch and 2. it was the center of time.  I know someone out there was going "jeez, I thought russ was smart, but here he is telling us about Greenwich like it's a novelty- what a moron, I don't think he really should be allowed into that MBA afterall." And that persons friend was saying "I agree George, we were going to admit him on full scholarship, until we realized, via this blog, that he's a yokel and couldn't put Greenwich and Sandwich next to each other on a map."

 

I don't know where Sandwich is, but I know it isn't the Prime Meridian of Earth, bitches!

 

OK, on I go.

 

 

At Greenwich, we had a pint and a Pimms at a pub called the "Gipsy Moth." It was our most expensive pint yet in London(ish.) I had the Pimms, which was 2 pounds 70, and the bill for our drinks was almost 8 pounds, meaning that Jen's strawberry beer cost about 5 pounds.  Thats more than $10 CAD.  I'd heard rumours about such things, but couldnt believe theyd be true.  $10/pint? NOT in a fancy resto?

 

FU Greenwich! We left.

 

For those intersted, pints here run between, in our experience, 2 gbp and 3gbp50.  Few above or below that.

Everything else is a direct conversion from dollars to pounds- as in, if it costs 20 dollars canadian, it costs 20 pounds.  Guh.

We've been frugal.

 

Anyway, we took the boat home from Greenwich (stayed on an extra stop, then regretted it because the boat filled up with kids) and went to Kensington for Jen's second attempt there at boot shopping.  After, we were supposed to go to a bar called the El Metro, a tapas place in Fulham, but despite all the Fulham trains passing us by, we had to wait about 20 minutes for a train to get us to Kensington. 

 

Then Jen shopped, then was done. Then we wanted to get to Fulham.

So we went into the tube again, waited another 20 minutes for the right train (numerous wrong trains) before one showed.   Then it didn't move. Cuz that line was shut down. So we had to get out and get on the bus.

 

Which is ok, cuz in London, that means a double-decker for site-seeing.  But all we saw was burbs and blur (the windows fogged) and it took an hour. 

 

And El Metro was not so great. It wasnt bad, mind you, it was just meh.  I could'a missed it.

It took us an hour to get home, at which point I wrote that last post then went to bed.

 

Soooooo, that leaves today.

Today sucked.

 

We went to Portobello Market (rain and overpriced junk) then tried to go back to the Cock (hour bus ride) but they werent serving food so we went to try to find a place showing the Gunners match (rain) and couldnt find one.  London pubs don't show football matches. Maybe if I were smarter I would have known that, but I didn't.  One hour plus in the rain (wet socks by now) and still wandering.  Even went to Cheers London (full of Americans) in hopes of finding the game. 

No.

No games.

We walked more (rain) to a pub (overpriced) with no game, and finally decided to back to Camden for some pints and late-night chillin. Bar scene even...?

 

Jen got tired, and we came home.  I did get some dry socks halfway through, near a tube stop, and am now wearing pink skull socks (and did so sans boots in Camden) but in general, today was a total write-off.

 

Olivier was home when we got here (missed him all day yesterday) but in the two hours I've been writing this, he's gone out for dinner. 

He has FIFA '09 on his TV and I can't turn it off, so after I hit "publish" I'm going to pick up a PS3 controller and try to learn enough to not get schooled when he gets home... assuming I'm still awake. 

 

No photos for today. You didn't want to see the look on my face.

I'm gonna work on this bottle of Bailey's, and see if I can't beat Nantes with Arsenal.

 

Peace homies. See you soon.